Science and Emotional Issues
by Galaxina-the-Seedrian
Summary: (sequel to "Love and Politics"); Schnitzel finds herself in yet another awkward situation with Doofenshmirtz, this time in the form of a request. Why does she even bother...? (DoofXOC)


**Of all the stories I'm making a sequel to, why did it have to be "Love and Politics"? What the heck is wrong with me?!**

 **You could consider this the sequel to "Love and Politics", considering it takes place in the non-canon version of LFLS (not that it's canon at all…pretty much a fan fic within a fan fic universe, or something). Why did I decide to write this? Because I love these two as a wacky couple, I've been slow on "The Prisoner" and other stuff, and I just needed something to kill some time.**

 **Plus, my way of writing a romance correctly profounds me...I really need to get myself checked out or something, 'cause man my mind goes to the strangest of place! XD**

 **But HEY! At least this is less awkward than the LAST story! XD**

 **WARNING:** _It's still pretty weird, but as I said, it's less awkward than the last story_

 **Enjoy!**

 **P/F/P/F**

 **Science and Emotional Issues**

 **(~)**

Schnitzel stared at Doofenshmirtz hard in his singular eye, as the said dictator seemed to have a calm smile on his lips. It was as if he found his request to be very reasonable, and in hindsight it was. Well, maybe not, but it was for _science_. This seemed very natural for him to be doing.

So why was she feeling paler the more she thought about it?

To _hell with it_ , why wouldn't she?! This wasn't acceptable, so _screw_ science!

"…What?"

Doofenshmirtz nodded to her and proceeded to answer her question, not seeming to notice her blatant look of horror. "Yes, well, you see I've been studying a possible alternative to genetically enhance the human body. My theory includes the insert of the posterior. In order for this to be made clear, I would need to examine one, to which I thought of you as the PERRRRFECT subject!"

The dictator clapped his hands together, grinning even wider. Schnitzel continued to stare as her brain still tried to process what had happened. "…So," she said slowly, "What you're saying…is that you want to study…my _butt_?"

"Yes."

Schnitzel stared at Doofenshmirtz with incredulity, almost as if she thought he might be joking. Yet his single eye remained completely void of such things, and she slowly pieced together that he must be serious about the whole thing. Slowly, Schnitzel's expression became a very uncomfortable stare as her eyes darted from side to side. Doofenshmirtz blinked.

"You're acting as if this request is odd."

Schnitzel felt like face-palming. Against a tree for a hundred times fold to be more precise as she continued to stare at her superior in a way that said, 'Don't play stupid with me.' As it turns out, even though Doofenshmirtz was the smartest person Schnitzel knew, he at least knew how to play those kinds of games. They had agreed never to speak of it to anyone, yet here they are now, discussing the matter in a public place.

Schnitzel sighed, rubbing her temples.

"Heinz…You're asking me if you can stare at my butt for a number of…how many hours?"

"That's actually still debatable for me to choose; depends on how long the examination should last."

"Regardless…you're asking me to just…LET YOU stare at my butt? For science?"

"Yeah, is that a problem, Schnitzel?"

"Well, I'm a little uncomfortable with that request, Heinz."

"Why is that?"

"…Do you _not_ remember what happened three weeks ago?"

The look on Doofenshmirtz's face clearly feigned ignorance, which earned a very angry growl from Schnitzel. Three months ago, the two had a conversation about being married without her knowing for the last few years. It had led to her accidentally revealing some of her feelings towards the dictator, which led to a very…compromising situation. Luckily, Phineas walked into the room before anything was to come of it.

Speaking of Phineas, the poor boy was still a little shaken about what he nearly saw, as if it was enough to drain out his innocence. Schnitzel still needed to ask about that to the kid. She worried about him sometimes, even if he was just a stupid kid. Phineas was at least better than Doofenshmirtz was.

At least, at this point he was.

"I'm going to have to decline this…request," Schnitzel said flatly, "Because I know where this is going to head, and by the way sir _you_ are a _pervert_."

Doofenshmirtz looked insulted by this statement, and even gasped. Schnitzel knew by now that he would make a terrible actor, unless he was doing it on purpose. "How can I be when it's for _science_?" he asked, "Honestly, Alice, you think I'm some sort of predator now."

"You," Schnitzel seemed to emphasize each word, pausing a bit to see if she gained Doofenshmirtz's full attention, "Assaulted me! No more than three weeks ago, in fact! And that _night_ led to some interesting things that I don't even wanna _think_ about! So I think my ill-at-ease is understandable!"

"And why is that? You seemed to enjoy it very much. Especially that night…you were amazing, by the way. Never have I seen you get so into something like you did then!"

Schnitzel stared at Doofenshmirtz in pure horror. "Oh my god, Heinz, shut up! We agreed _never_ to speak of it again!"

"You were screaming my name like a mantra, Alice," Doofenshmirtz said in an almost annoyed tone, "It's not something I can simply _ignore_. Had it been the other way around would you be able to contain yourself?"

"Do you even know what you're implying?!"

"And the sheer emotion, girl, that was something! I doubt that anyone was able to sleep that night."

"Shut. Up."

"It was like a train whistle, or a clock or something. I can't even describe that voice of yours, Alice. It just kept going and going and-."

Schnitzel's face turned red as she hid behind his hands, rubbing her eyelids. So much for keeping this all from everyone; which was weird, considering that Doofenshmirtz seemed just as embarrassed as her when Phineas walked in on them those three weeks ago.

"Heinz, there are _people_ here," Schnitzel muttered, "If we're going to be talking about this, can we do it in private?"

It came out as begging, something that Schnitzel was used to doing. By now she should've expected Doofenshmirtz to say no to her, but she was hoping that perhaps he'd feel the tiniest bit self-conscious about their conversation. No such luck was to be had, as Doofenshmirtz proceeded to grin more at Schnitzel. Oh, mother of god, why her?

"I'm sorry," Doofenshmirtz said patronizingly, "I do believe that you're the one who _started_ this conversation."

" _Elaborate_ ," Schnitzel's teeth gritted.

"Well, all I asked for was for me to examine your posterior for scientific reasons," Doofenshmirtz explained, "You're the one who jumped the gun and started bringing up those three weeks ago."

"Which you remembered," Schnitzel found herself shouting, causing heads to turn, "You remember, so you know what you're asking!"

"Alice," Doofenshmirtz smirked, "Thought you wanted this to be private."

Schnitzel looked around, her face turning into an even darker shade of red. Soon, everyone began to ignore the two as they went back to their work stations. Doofenshmirtz clapped his hands together. "Well, then," he said, "What do you say to my offer?"

"What offer," Schnitzel glowered, "All you said was that you wanted to examine my _butt_ , nothing more than that. And no, I want _nothing_ of this. Nada. Zilch!"

"You'd get a raise~."

"You don't pay me, Heinz. You don't pay _anyone_. We live in a society where you provide for everyone, and in return you treat us all like slaves. You practically banned raises of any kind."

Doofenshmirtz leaned forward, making Schnitzel extremely uncomfortable. More-so than before, that is to say. He gently grabbed her by the chin, pulling her closer to his face, and she found herself blushing as she had done many times before. Chills ran down her spine as they leaned forward to each other.

"Who said anything about _money_?"

 **Smack!**

Schnitzel stared in shock as Doofenshmirtz reeled back a bit upon the sudden impact. She admitted that she had this amazing way of either impressing herself or scaring herself, and slapping her superior in the face was in between those lines every time. Doofenshmirtz seemed to be very much alright with it, and even grinned at Schnitzel, who paled. _Sadistic masochist._

"You know," Doofenshmirtz said, "I was thinking more in terms of 'raising your break-times', but you just gave me a much better idea…"

"Shut up," Schnitzel said, "You know what you wanted to do!" she turned her back on Doofenshmirtz and crossed her arms in a huff, "And the answer is still no!"

Doofenshmirtz blinked. "No to my request or no to what you think I wanted from you?"

"BOTH!"

"What DO you think I want, Alice? I'm very curious."

Schnitzel's face paled further. "Uh...you...you wanted..."

The smile on Doofenshmirtz's face raised Schnitzel anger to eleven.

"You know what you wanted, Heinrich Doofenshmirtz" Schnitzel hissed, "I am not saying anything more to you, Heinz! I'm leaving!"

Doofenshmirtz pouted. "Ah, but we were having so much fun ," he grinned and quickly added, "That night, of course."

"La-la-la, I'm leaving! Schnitzel is out! Peace!"

With her ears covered, Schnitzel began to walk away quickly, only to end up walking into a wall. Shakily, Schnitzel began to continue her march from the scene, earning a snicker from Doofenshmirtz, who seemed to walk away in satisfaction.

* * *

"So how did it go?" was the first thing that Phineas asked upon Doofenshmirtz entering the office.

The young boy had been told to stack some papers onto the desk that was far too tall for him to reach, though Phineas seemed to triumph over the difficulty. That being said, Doofenshmirtz proceeded to knock over the stack simply by poking it, forcing Phineas to try again. The boy glared up at the dictator, who was smiling brightly.

"Very well, very well," Doofenshmirtz said nodding, "She had the perfect reaction."

Phineas rose an eyebrow at Doofenshmirtz in confusion. "Uh…as in she accepted, or as in she flipped out and-…" upon seeing a red marking on Doofenshmirtz's face, the boy immediately clamped his mouth shut about it, "So she turned you down, I assume?"

"Pretty much," Doofenshmirtz shrugged, "Wasn't expecting anything different."

"Do you really think messing with her like this is a good idea? It's one thing to physically abuse her, but to do that mentally? That's gonna leave some scars."

"Those are the best scars, Phineas."

"Riiiight…of course," Phineas sighed, "Well, have you considered that she would want revenge on you?"

"Of course. I'm looking forward to her attempts if she decides to make them. They'll be hilarious."

Phineas watched Doofenshmirtz carefully as the dictator went to sit at his desk in a relaxed position with his feet on the work table. The younger continued to watch the older hum to himself until Phineas decided to clear his throat a bit. It grabbed Doofenshmirtz's attention, and so Phineas thought that maybe he should take the time to tell him _something_. He was going to remain silent, but now that the moment was there he might as well, Phineas thought.

"Look, I know you like messing with her," Phineas said, "But keep in mind that Schnitzel's probably the only real friend you've ever had. Even if you two haven't been acting like friends for a long time, it's safe to say that Schnitzel at least cares deeply about you. You may not be able to see that now, but if you push her too far she's going to want nothing to do with you. And when that happens you're going to regret it."

Doofenshmirtz scoffed. "You don't even know what you're saying," he said, "I don't need anyone, Phineas. I'm fine on my own. Once she's of no more use to me, she'll be free to leave me whenever she wishes."

The dictator proceeded to cackle. "If anything," he said, "She's the one who needs _me_. As if I would need anyone. I'm the bloody dictator! I'm practically a king!"

Doofenshmirtz's laughter softened and he sighed happily. "You say the strangest things…"

Phineas continued to stare up at Doofenshmirtz, almost hesitantly. He looked at his hands, and then raised his head up to the side, staring at a wall blankly. The words came out automatically, and couldn't be stopped even if he wanted to. "You never said that about Vanessa."

The silence cut hard like a knife, and Phineas regretted his choice words instantly. Doofenshmirtz's look of satisfaction was replaced with a look of shock and then that of repressed anger. His sigh came out a bit shaky, indicating that he was no longer happy like he had been upon entering. He didn't even bother to look at Phineas, who seemed to be acting more like a concerned friend other than a slave towards his superior.

"Get out, Phineas."

"Doofenshmirtz, I-I didn't mean to-."

" _Now_."

Immediately Phineas stood, and walked out of the room with decent pace. He shut the door behind him, leaving Doofenshmirtz to himself. The dictator glowered as he proceeded to write down on some paperwork, not really paying attention to anything the parchments said. They never really mattered to him anyway.

 **A/N:**

 **I hope I didn't make Schnitzel into a Mary-Sue in this; if I did, I'm going to be very ashamed of myself.**

 **Not that I HATE Mary-Sues, it's just that MY Mary-Sues are terrible. Like, really bad. Only certain people can write a Mary-Sure correctly, it seems, and I am not one of those people.**

 **Okay, so, a lot has been happening, and updates are gonna be slow because of this. Let's start this from the beginning:**

 **As some of you may know, I was cast as Miss Hannigan for the show Annie Jr. This week is tech week, so I'm lucky that I managed to write this for you guys. XD**

 **Even so, afterwards, I may not be able to update as much as I want to, because…**

 **1\. I'm getting a job. Woot-woot! (I'm hoping to get a job at Starbucks or something; they pay very well, and I want enough mon-mons to pay for college. Make my own business; get a big house like I've always wanted)**

 **2\. College. I warned you guys about this! I WAAAARRRRNED YOOOOOUUUUU!**

 **3\. I've been suffering from anxiety for a while now, since last month I believe. With trying to move from a house I've lived in most of my life, my grandfather passing away, and trying to stay healthy for every practice for Annie, I've reached to the point of feeling sick whenever I eat. As a result, I am slowly starving myself, and I'm trying to gain back weight and calories so I can make it through the shows. I'm also trying to stay less anxious so I can complete this task. As a result, I may not be able to write anything "Like Father, Like Son" kind of drama for a spell.**

 **In spite all of that, though, I'm gonna do my best to keep writing for you guys! Thanks for putting up with my on-and-off updates and stuff, and thank you so much for your support, shown or otherwise! You guys are awesome!**

 **I hope you all enjoyed this, and please review if you can! (If you read this, that is. XD)**

 **-GTS**


End file.
